10/18/19 - Soft Reset
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Right now, I need the human equivalent of CONTROL ALT DELETE!
Hi! This is Coach Sarah, and this is the Morning Mantra!
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Hi, my name is Sarah Axelrod. I'm a run coach and a lover of poetry, and a person who cares about your well-being. You don't have to be an athlete to be #coachedandloved, and if you need an anchor to hold onto as you move through a tough situation, you've come to the right place.
Today’s mantra is: soft reset.
I remember many times in my life feeling like I needed to just RESET everything. You know, that post-holiday bloat that comes around and sits around your waist and makes your underwear feel too tight, the slight swelling around your ankles that makes your shoes feel like they don’t fit, every bone in your body saying HOW DID WE GET HERE? I DON’T LIKE IT HERE!
And the answer was always pretty simple: usually, this was happening because I’d been traveling. Usually, I’d been eating in other people’s kitchens and faced with very few choices of my own. Usually, I’d been sitting in airports or cars or whatever, lifting heavy luggage, sharing more space with others than I’m accustomed to. Usually I’d spent the previous days if not weeks being FLEXIBLE AS HELL to accommodate others and putting myself last, by necessity.
But ye old Weight Watchers had put the fear of god in me about gaining weight while traveling. Tips and tricks always abounded (drink a glass of water before you eat the holiday meal! etc) which instilled in me the belief that if I got puffy over the course of a vacation, it was MY fault for not having adequately deployed enough tips and tricks and willpower and forbearance and DISCIPLINE.
I remember one year after a particularly trying holiday about ten years ago - traveling to one city for Christmas and then another one, unexpectedly, for a funeral, and then flying home after a much longer time away than anticipated, we decided that we needed a hard reset - we just needed to MAKE ourselves do better. We bought a juicer and the great cleanse began. It was hard, and we gave up after a week even though it was supposed to be three. We knew we were done for when we poured our dinner into a glass and sat down opposite one another, feeling the empty hole left behind by our regular ritual of cooking dinner together and taking our time to eat it. Even without accounting for the hunger, it just felt so sad. It did what it was supposed to do in that our bodies snapped to attention, dropping the bloat instantly and giving us that hungry, empty feeling that had been so rare over the course of holiday meal after holiday meal, but it was a hollow victory.
I’m far from healed from years of controlling what I ate all the time, and actually craving that empty feeling, and hating my body and not knowing how to solve its problems. But one thing I can say. The hard reset, the reduction to empty - it doesn’t work for me anymore. The cleanse, the purge, however sound the science may be behind the concept in some forms, is a tool of control that I no longer want in my arsenal. Give me the soft pillow, the brainless movie, the cuddly kid, the homemade pancakes and the whatever else my tired heart wants right now, and give me time to refill my reserves instead of draining them from the bottom.
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You are Coached. You are Loooved, and you ARE winning at life. And if you need MOAR reasons to believe that, follow @morningmantrapod on Instagram.