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  • Writer's picturecoachmk

2/4/20: Where You BEEN?

Hell yeah I’m fragile. Fragile as a hand grenade.

Hi! This is Coach MK, and THIS is The Morning Mantra.

*intro music begins*

Hi, my name is MK Fleming. I'm a run coach based in Denver, Colorado. But this isn't a podcast about running, exactly. Don't tell my clients, but *whispers* we're never really talking about the running. When you know a crap-tastic event is coming it helps to have a mantra to keep you centered and focused as you move through it. You don't have to be an athlete to be hashtag #coachedandloved by coach MK. And if you are here, then you are hashtag #winningatlife.

*music ends*

Today’s Mantra is: WHERE YOU BEEN?

SO! It’s been awhile! Sorry I’m not more sorry about that; I overloaded my plate heading into the Holiday season. There is SO MUCH I want to do, you guys. So many things I want to say, so many things I want my most vulnerable clients to HEAR...I was burning the candle at both ends, so I looked around and said, “what can I pause?” and I paused those things.

OOOF those words taste like Vinegar. I had to hit pause. I had to stop. In order to do that, I had to admit I was overloaded, that I made a mistake, that I said yes when I should have said no, and make a list of things I could afford to pause so I could circle back to that list and decide what to continue...and what to quit.

That’s a thing right there- we don’t discern between pausing and quitting. I’m not just an overachiever, I’m an overachiever with ADHD. The stereotype is that we start ALL KINDS OF THINGS in a manic pixie fever dream then quit all of them before completion, never to return. “Do, or Do Not: There Is No Pause”. It’s on me to work around this perception, even though it’s unfair and untrue: I will always have to defend the projects I drop, the things I choose to quit, the pauses that last longer than vacations.

But you know what though? it’s not just me. It’s a THING. When I was getting ready to pick the mantrapod back up I started receiving marketing emails about “Quitter’s Day”. Ridiculous, shame-ridden emails about quitting being a character flaw, as though every New Year’s Resolution needed to be kept, every single thing we EVER START must be continued or completed, NO MATTER WHAT!!! Hear me now: quitting is one of the hardest things you will ever do because no one will ever give you permission to do it. It’s a choice you will always have to defend, we hate quitting THAT MUCH. Quitters never win, you just self-selected into LOSERVILLE!

I tell you that to tell you this: if you didn’t believe I was coming back: I forgive you. I love this podcast. It came from a desire to be the first voice my most vulnerable clients would hear every single morning, a repository they could draw on when they needed me. I can’t quit you, Mantrapod. Our weekly news roundup on the Coached and Loved Blog? That’s gone for now. The Tether isn’t gone either, but Fitness Protection doesn’t need a weekly newsletter at the moment. I hear you all need a microdose of confidence, and I had to hit pause so I could continue to deliver. Coach Sarah “The Mailman” Axelrod deserves nothing less. (If you missed that story by the way, YOU NEED TO send her an email and ask her about it!

If you have pressed pause on ANYTHING, from your run streak to your carpool to your job to your CSA membership...or even your Fitness Protection membership: CONGRATULATIONS! Whether you are pausing or quitting doesn’t matter: it takes a LOT to press that button, it’s a huge act of self-care to make a choice that no one has to understand but you.

You see, when I hit ‘pause’, the question I needed to answer was, “If Fitness Protection dries up, if tomorrow we have no more money coming in, which of these tasks would I continue?” I would NOT continue to spend 8+ hours per week creating a blog post on running and fitness news or a weekly newsletter, but I would totally keep doing this podcast. I guess what I really can’t quit, is you. I hope you can’t quit you, either. I also hope you take advantage of Quitter’s Day and use this time to hit pause on the things you do and ask yourself what to continue, and what to quit.

SO: the mantra. When you find yourself defending a break, a vacation, a pause, or something you quit- don’t defer. Don’t plead for understanding. Don’t explain. You don’t need anyone to understand unless they are paying you (and even then, NAH!). PAUSE. Look them in the eye, smile, and say, “WHERE YOU BEEN?!? Did you miss me?” Anyone who is mad about you quitting was benefitting from you burning yourself out. If you do nothing else this quitter’s day, PLEASE quit engaging with those people!

*cue outro music*

You are Coached. You are Loooved, and you ARE winning at life. And you're definitely winning at life if you subscribe to my Nuzzel Newsletter, follow me on Facebook or follow me on Instagram. feel free to do all three!

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