3/28/19: Heigh-Ho, Motherf*ucker
The Morning Mantra is available on iTunes, Overcast, Stitcher, Youtube, Soundcloud, Spotify, and pretty much anywhere podcasts can be found. Transcripts forthcoming on the blog at www.coachedandloved.com
Rise and shine. I've always held such fondness for that sweet old phrase as though we're all little suns as though we are all someone's day. by Beau Taplin
Hi, this is Coach MK. And THIS is the morning mantra.
*cue intro music*
Hi, my name is MK Fleming. I'm a run coach based in Denver, Colorado. But this isn't a podcast about running, exactly. Don't tell my clients, but *whispers* we're never really talking about the running. When you know a crap-tastic event is coming it helps to have a mantra to keep you centered and focused as you move through it. You don't have to be an athlete to be hashtag #coachedandloved by coach MK. And if you are here, then you are hashtag #winningatlife.
Well, here's a first! My husband brought the mail in today. Hands me an envelope. It is the cutest baby announcement I've ever seen with ta mantra request on the back.
*Coach MK reads*
Coach MK. Thank you for guiding me through this pregnancy, you coach and love like a rockstar. Why thank you! Currently. I'm not running but working on stuff in PT. YAY for good decisions!!! I thank you for the wisdom and patience to do that. And I'm looking forward to getting some miles when I'm ready and the endless snow stops. Do you have a mantra for someone who is exhausted from work, lack of sleep, and the stress of the farm slash agricultural economy but who also holds a lot of hope for the future? Aka ME! Thank you again for what you do and who you are.
*Coach MK responds*
Well listener, you're lovely. I absolutely adored that card. I'm going to put it in a folder with all the other really amazing cards I get from you guys 'cause all of these just like, oh, they keep me going.
So the mantra that I originally chose was profane to be perfectly honest with you here because I have this analytical tool that tells me that my most downloaded mantras ever, what they all have in common, is the word motherfucker. Shockingly. Namaste, Motherf*cker is a runaway first place with well over four thousand downloads. So I was going to go with, "Heigh-ho, Motherf*cker". And then I realized that song is actually, *sings* "Hi, ho. Hi, ho, it's home from work we go." I thought it was, "it's off to work we go". But it's actually "it's home from work we go." from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
The reason I like throwing that in there, because it is #fierceFriday. And there's something about channeling your inner Samuel L Jackson that makes you feel powerful. 'No motherf*ucker'. 'Hi, ho motherf*ucker', anything come a motherf*ucker spoken with gusto suddenly makes that thing you're about to do a little more interesting, and you feel a little bit more in control of it. But when you come home you come home to a farm so work never ends. And you have a baby and that work never ends. So I looked around. I'm sure you've heard that poem, "So God made a Farmer," I loved it, it's a Paul Harvey speech used in those Dodge Ram commercials from several years ago, but the one you might not have heard, and the one that may be more applicable right now, is, "and God Made a Farmer's Wife." Which is not to diminish what you do in any way but you said you "go to work" so I'm guessing that the work you perform for income is not physically located on the farm.
So God Made a Farmer’s Wife.
And on the 9th day, God looked down on his planned paradise and said, “The farmer needs a caretaker”. So God made a farmer’s wife.
God said, “I need somebody willing to get up before dawn, feed the farmer, work all day in town, come home to work alongside her farmer, make supper, and then go to town and stay past midnight at a meeting of the school board”. So God made a farmer’s wife.
“I need somebody with arms strong enough to keep up with the farmer yet gentle enough to cuddle a newborn baby. Somebody to run for parts, help in the fields, move trucks, deliver meals, look the farmer in the eyes and tell him ‘I love you and the life we’ve built’ – and mean it”. So God made a farmer’s wife.
God said, “I need somebody willing to sit up all night with their newborn baby. And raise him right. I need somebody who can use a wrench and know where to find it, doesn’t mind getting dirty, who can remove stains, and keep a house clean. And who, planting time and harvest season, will finish her forty-hour week by Tuesday noon, then, pain’n from her town job, taking care of the kids, and fieldwork, put in another seventy-two hours”. So God made a farmer’s wife.
God had to have somebody willing to cancel appointments and change plans and be ready in a minutes notice and yet will never stop and complain about this way of life. So God made a farmer’s wife.
God said, “I need somebody strong enough to clean out bins and heave bails, yet gentle enough to raise kids and bottle feed calves and tend to the house, who will drive the tractor and pray to God about the weather. It had to be somebody who’d be able to handle the house and field work and not cut corners. Somebody to seed, weed, feed, breed and wash and dry and cook and clean and remember scheduled events and feed the farmer and stock the cupboards and finish a hard week’s work with a five-mile drive to church.
“Somebody who’d bale a family together with the soft strong bonds of sharing, who would laugh and then sigh, and then reply, with smiling eyes, when her daughter says she wants to spend her life ‘doing what mom does.’” So God made a farmer wife.
Isn't that nice?? I can't even take credit for that. That is written by Christy on a blog for Lautner farms. So. Yeah, there you go. It's hard to come up with the pithy mantra that's gonna make you anyone wanna do all that because, Oh my God, this is a lot of work. It's hard. Momming is hard, working is hard, adulting is hard. You've just added like the fifth dimension of farming to that pile of never ending responsibility. YAY YOU!
Without you, though, doing your thing. I would not have Instacart, Instacart would have nothing to deliver to me. So I thank you for your service in all everybody listening I assure you does as well.
But in those moments when you just don't want to go home because going home means more work than what you have going on at the office, maybe that's the right time to get a little profane. Maybe that's the right time to look in the mirror and say, Heigh-Ho Motherf*ucker! And then go home to a little more work.
It's not easy. Nothing is at all. But you really are doing God's work. I sincerely hope it's worth it. And if not we're going to start sending all the appreciation we possibly can muster your way, We need you. Thank you for your service, Heigh-Ho Motherf*ucker! It's Friday, the weekend is wide open the head of us. Let's go.
*cue outro music*
You are Coached. You are Loooved, and you ARE winning at life. And you're definitely winning at life if you subscribe to my Nuzzel Newsletter, follow me on Facebook or follow me on Instagram. feel free to do all three!
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*a minute to help Coach MK, please!*
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